It was in the second month of deciding to no longer pursue a career in healthcare that I realized I was going to lose my status. I was standing at the kitchen table and said out loud, “I’m going to miss my status!” Just announced it right there for all to hear. My sweet husband offered loving, sage wisdom to comfort my grief, which I adore and love him for, as really, I was in a period of grieving several losses. But up until this point, I hadn’t given my status much thought. As I began to realize all the changes that were happening due to no longer pursuing my career, I struggled with losing this status. Sounds shallow, I know, but it was the embarrassing truth about the condition of my heart. I had worked hard for my status, and now I was going to lose it and have nothing to show for my time spent away from home.

Now different forms of status exist, but my particular focus was on the status I had earned with businesses for the last two years. I had never had status before with hotels, car rentals or airlines and I liked it. Status made me feel important and provided a temporary comfort. I liked knowing I had access to the Member’s Club at the hotel. I enjoyed being able to board the plane earlier than others, so that I had room for my carry-on. It was nice being able to walk right to the car at the rental place, jump in and avoid the lines at the counter. I liked being thanked by the customer service reps for my loyalty. The free upgrades were a nice bonus, too. Status fed my hunger to be appreciated and recognized my time served on the road. Status was a trade-off for time spent away from home and after all, I earned my status for free, right?

But as I reflected about losing my status, I quickly acknowledged that status is also very lonely and exhausting. Many times I sat in my hotel room alone and worn out from work and travel, yet my personal life wasn’t stopping back home. My son played his baseball games. My husband took my dad to his surgery for me. My best friend’s son, my son from another mother, had his Senior recognition night for soccer. My son’s 16th birthday and first time taking the car out happened without me. I missed holiday events and church events. I missed the nightly in person check-in chats with my kids. I often sent calls from my daughter to voicemail due to boarding a plane or a late-night planning meeting. I missed, and I missed, and I missed the important events in the lives of the people who mattered the most. Truth is, I missed the mundane everyday events that some would deem not so important but actually were. Those family dinners around the table were precious times and I missed them. As I continued to think about losing my status, God began to reveal to me the truth about what it had cost me. It was in this moment I realized I had gotten upside down on my belief about status. I had gotten distracted by status and what it can offer and had forgotten what it can’t. Status isn’t free. It comes at a cost and the price is high. A price I realized I am no longer willing to pay. Status feels good in the moment and feeds the ego, but it doesn’t buy back the time, the moments you missed. Status doesn’t ease the lonely in a hotel. Status doesn’t apologize for missing your son’s first pitch as a Varsity player. Status doesn’t comfort your dad as he goes in for surgery. Status cannot replace the void one feels when being absent from the people who mean the most. Bottom line, status is a temporary reward for time spent away from those in your closest sphere of influence.

Now I realize that not everyone can stop traveling for their careers, that’s not always an option and that’s not what I’m suggesting. But what I do recommend is stepping back and evaluating the condition of your heart. What is the “status” in your life that you need to redefine its importance? Maybe it’s the title you long for at work? Or maybe it’s the salary you are trying to achieve? Or maybe it’s that circle of friends you want to be asked to join? What has become so important to you that it is taking you away from the people who matter most in your life? More importantly, what is it that is taking you away from growing in your relationship with God? The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, your heart will be there also.”  For me, I had gotten so focused on what I had worked so hard for and was now losing. I had let my heart get focused on earthly rewards. Seriously y’all, I was upset about losing my status. It now sounds so silly. Status with businesses was always going to be temporary. My status with Jesus is always going to be eternal. When I got my focus off what I was losing and refocused on Jesus, He showed me what I had lost and what I was now going to gain. So, what’s my status now? An abundant, happier life full of God’s glorious riches that is maintained by daily staying in God’s Word and on my knees. My hope for you is that you will take a heart check, do it regularly and ask God to reveal if you need a status change. If you do, ask God to help you and He will. I promise you’ll be glad you did!