Today on my walk I listened to a sermon from Passion City Church. About halfway through the sermon, the preacher said, “Comfort and convenience are not fruits of the Spirit.” As I continued on my walk, this statement stayed top of mind for me. As I reflected on his words, I thought to myself, nothing about my battle with Stills Disease was convenient or comfortable. In fact, when I first got sick with Stills Disease it couldn’t have been at a more inconvenient time. Now I hear ya, there is never a convenient time to get sick, but can we just say that some times exist that might be a little worse than others? When I got sick, I had been in my new job for eight months and my career was finally beginning to take off. And that take off, well, it was a short one ending in an emergency landing. As I continued to need to be out of work, I lost business accounts that I had worked hard on for months. My on-site consulting days were reassigned to my colleagues. At the time, I did not have short term disability and would not be eligible for it in the near future due to being hospitalized. Paid time off? Well, I had a few weeks built up, but not enough to cover all the time I needed to be out of work, which meant leave without pay. Worst of all, which may sound shallow, my family beach vacation, which was a 20-year tradition, I spent in the ICU fighting for my life. Convenient time to get a life changing chronic illness? Not really. And comfort? Comfort is not a word I would use to describe how I felt during this time. The dictionary defines comfort as “a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint, characterized by a lack of hardship.” Nothing comfortable exist about living with Stills Disease. I was not in a state of physical ease. I was definitely in the middle of a hardship. All the fallout from my illness definitely impacted all types of comfort for my family and me. And yes, it was inconvenient. 

In focusing on the words comfort & convenient,  I think about how in today’s society we, me included, want to live a life of comfort, a life of ease. Maybe sometimes we think we deserve it. We think life will be easier if we aren’t inconvenienced, if we don’t experience times of being uncomfortable. But as I go back to the pastor’s statement, “Comfort and convenience are not fruits of the Spirit”, there is a reason why they aren’t. They don’t produce growth. They make us self-dependent.  Think about it, if we always lived a life of comfort and convenience, we would become stagnant. We would have little to no reason to improve and grow. We would be tempted to not fully rely on Christ and only focus on self. 

In my Stills journey, being uncomfortable and being inconvenience caused a tremendous amount of growth. I grew in my dependence on God. I would not have survived without Him. I grew in my marriage and it was strengthened. My understanding of what really matters in life grew and I began to focus even more on my faith, family and friends. I learned what it truly meant to persevere.  And in getting back to the fruits of The Spirit, I grew in many of those too. Love. My love for my husband became stronger. My love for life and Jesus deepened. I grew in my understanding of joy and that to fully experience joy, you must experience pain. Peace. When I was looking death right in the face, I truly learned what it meant to be at peace, to rest in God, to give everything to Him. Patience, honestly, this one I am still working on, and daily I might add. I had to learn to be patient with myself, that I physically couldn’t and still can’t do the things that I used to be able to do, as my physical strength and endurance are less. I also learned to be patient with others, especially when I needed help. And in working on being patient, that forces one to address self-control.  Sigh. Slow to speak and slow anger can be challenging at times. Can I get an Amen?

Let me be clear, this hasn’t been easy, and I can’t say it would be something that I would run to be first in line to sign up for, but I am thankful for this journey. I know that may not make sense, but without the hardships, without the inconvenience, without the pain and without the discomfort, I would have missed out on the growth. I would have missed out on truly experiencing and knowing joy. I would have missed out on the blessings and the abundant life Christ has for me. 

So, what about you? Maybe you are going through a time of inconvenience and being uncomfortable, or maybe you haven’t experienced a time like this, yet. My prayer is that when you find yourself in a time like this, you embrace it. Embrace the inconvenience and discomfort. Find the joy. Look for the lessons to be learned. Embrace the growth. Look for the blessings. Learn to persevere. Most of all, look to Jesus. Lean into Him. Seek Him. Trust Him. Embrace Him. 

I believe it is in the times of inconvenience and discomfort, when we truly learn to live. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5: 22-23  

“Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4