This year has been hard for everyone. No matter what walk of life you are in, the year 2020 has challenged all of us at some point. And now we are entering the holiday season where we are supposed to be thankful and joyful while social distancing from those we love the most. Are you kidding me? In fact, I know many people (and the list grew tremendously this year) who bypass Thanksgiving and move right onto Christmas. I get it. Life’s been hard and we all just want and need some happy, happy, joy, joy. This year I actually committed what we call in my family, a “Christmas Violation” by watching Christmas movies before Thanksgiving, as anything Christmas before Thanksgiving falls into the Christmas Violation category. And if I’m being fully transparent, I also snuck in a few Christmas songs, but let’s keep that between us, my kids don’t need to know.
Now, please don’t judge us about the Christmas violation rule, as my family loves celebrating Thanksgiving and not skipping it, plus it is just a fun thing we do inside our family. If you don’t love Thanksgiving, that’s okay, again I get it and no judgment. In fact in the year 2010, I didn’t like Thanksgiving. And quite honestly, I didn’t enjoy Christmas that year either. I wasn’t thankful. I was less than joyful, and it was not the most wonderful time of the year. November 2010 was the darkest time in my life. November 2010 was the month I learned my son Baby Jack would die. It was the month Jeff and I welcomed Baby Jack into the world and said goodbye all at the same time. November 2010 was the month I learned that the Cinderella story truly was a fairytale as life is difficult and happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It was the month we skipped the turkey and all the dressing. It was the month I numbed my pain with Russell Stover Candies and Butterfingers hidden under my bed. The month I stared at a tiny baby casket while sitting in the rain, praying that Jesus would walk by and perform a miracle. November 2010 was the month my life was turned upside down and everything I believed was challenged at my deepest core. Now thanks (haha) to the great year of 2020 and everything it has given us, the Thanksgiving of the past that my family came to love, isn’t going to happen, and once again I find myself at the crossroads of being thankful or thankless.
So how do we do it? How can we be thankful when we experience such pain, hurt, disappointment, isolation, loneliness and heartache? Is it even possible?
I would offer that It is possible, but not gonna lie, not exactly always easy and may take some work. First, we have to choose to be thankful, even when we don’t feel it. Choosing to be thankful requires a shift in our focus from everything that is bad to what is good. For me, I have to get very intentional to look at what is good in my life because the truth is even in the worst times, good still exist. I also have to remind myself that thanksgiving is not dependent on my emotion of being happy. Thanksgiving is an action of expressing or giving thanks, gratitude. Happy is defined as feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Two very different things. Being happy isn’t a prerequisite for thanksgiving. So, I can be thankful but also still be sad. Thankful and sad can coexist. In 2010, I could express thanksgiving for my husband and my daughter while still being sad about the death of my son. I could be sad and still express gratitude for my close group of friends, who helped me through the darkest time in my life. In fact, this year I am sad and actually spent some time in tears today. I’m sad for my friends, who will not be able to spend the holidays with their families. I’m broken hearted for close friends, who will experience their first Thanksgiving without a loved one due to death. I’m sad because our nation is in turmoil. I’m sad for those who have lost their jobs and struggling to make ends meet. I’m sad for those who are hurting. Yet even though I am sad, I am choosing to be thankful. I’m thankful for my loving husband, who loves me more than I ever deserve. I’m thankful that we still live in a free nation. I’m thankful for all the many lessons I’ve learned through these difficult times. I’m thankful for each breath I am given, as each breath is truly a gift! Thankful to live in my hometown a few miles down the road from my parents. I’m thankful for front porch chats with my dad and night walks with my husband. And just for all my Georgia friends, I’m thankful for Alabama football. (you’re welcome) I’m also thankful for you, my readers, and the support you provide me as I answer God’s call on my life. And most of all I’m thankful for Jesus, my Lord and Savior, my Hope!
And speaking of hope. Being thankful helps me be hopeful. Hopeful for better days ahead. Hopeful because I know that God has a plan and He will bring good out of all this pain and suffering. Hopeful because I know this isn’t how the story ends, COVID and 2020 don’t get the last word. Hallelujah! And eventually out of my hope, happiness will begin to grow. It may be a glimpse of happy to start, but eventually over time it will begin to overflow. Happiness will eventually return, so that even makes me hopeful!
My hope and prayer for you my sweet friends, is that during this holiday season, you will be able to see the good despite the bad we are constantly reminded of and surrounded by, and that if you can’t find the good, that God will reveal it to you. That if you are hurting and your heart is broken what feels like beyond repair, that you will trust God to heal it. That even though the holidays look very different for you this year, you will choose to be thankful. Most of all I hope and pray that you will know the love of Jesus and the hope we have in Him.
A Few Scriptures of Thanksgiving
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
Some inspirational songs, in case you need a nudge –
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